there's no such thing as hardwork. hardwork is just talent. and i was born with it.
this shirt helped a poor kid out
straight out of sync
straight out of wack
straight out of my mind
straight out of wedlock
straight out of the way
straight out of work
well, well, well... im a villain.
ugly is in the eye of the beholder
you look real dumb 'up side down text'
is your neck feeling better?
university degree:
drop-off, free, entrepreneur.
i dropped off from a slave farm. and you're feeling sorry for me?
you reap what you sow. and college is an infertile ground.
for tall people:
yes the air up here is better
i dont play basketball
at 30 years old, i'm still growing.
looking for a guy who can kiss my forehead
it's okay. i dont like comfortable seats anyway.
my age is when you halve how old you think i am
should i buy you a hot air balloon so we can talk eye to eye?
you think it's so great? when sky falls, i am the first to die.
cant make a shot, makes basketball team anyway.
i get jobs in sales for no reason.
whats like down there?
im not a real person
everything is proportional on me. lennyface
is the air down there good?
this is what happens when you bump your head too many times.
i cut off my feet when i sleep.
what's a midriff?
my hug is not awkward. you are just too short.
actually, teletubbies are taller than me
people never look at me eye to eye
i'm not tall. im tall boned.
dont look elsewhere when i stand up.
i like sitting in front of you.
your problem is my opportunity.
short guys go for short girls. tall guys go for short guys. what do i get? cats, mostly.
when you are too tall for anyone but cats to win your heart.
do you know what it's like when ceiling fan is a real life threat?
you are very perceptive for noticing a subtle part of my being.
i know, it's a different world up here.
for fat people:
i dont have diabetes. actually, i dont know.
my lard would taste great.
no, i dont own a mirror, nor i ever will.
no i'm not pregnant.
i wont sugarcoat that im fat. in fact iwill eat that too.
why you eat more than i do and still skinny like a twig?
heart attack is shortcut to heaven.
i beat anorexia
don't pick on me. i have enough on my plates.
don't worry. it's in there.
it's function. but you gotta do the work.
it would be real hard to kidnap me.
i will not buy two tickets/for one seat.
we can have a heavy discussion.
in the summer i could deep fry myself.
hand over the big mac, and nobody gets hurt.
for thin people:
for short people:
im pretty tall in china
give me a hot air balloon so we can talk eye to eye.
i dont want to objectify women, but all i can see is ur boobs.
for women:
prenup is for losers
a thousand deaths upon those voyeurs with their phones out!
a cucumber has many uses. do you know?
i confirm the wearer is a thot.
unapologetically photogenic
pikachu breast shirt
can you rip this shirt apart?
proud of being black and my chemically straigtened hair
for men:
middle age, divorced, cashcow.
for asian:
i love rice.
if you are wondering, my name is hang low.
ching chong ling long ting long means we are taking over your country
me no engrish. i also carry a creaver.
'Prisencolinensinanciusol'
hi my white ghost friend!
iq in reverse proportion to member size.
now pronounce 'Xi'.
yes, im always hungry.
my armpit smells like nothing!
i really know kongfu.
is tattoo a food?
for french:
i speak no le english.
jinwandalaohu
troll:
trollin' is love, trollin' is life.
black people:
i majored in computer science. and yes, i once tried to hack into kfc.
white supremacy is having an old white man on every kfc box
the blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice.
the darker the flesh, the deeper the root.
father son:
rest assured, you are not adopted. why would i ever choose you?
only you can call me a motherfucker, son.
this old man is always mad about nothing. - son
parenting - if it drives you crazy, you're doing right.
what's wrong with me calling this guy a motherfucker? - son
mother:
i thank the lord when it's bedtime.
tfw people without kids complain about being tired.
beware the power of calling you by your full-name.
it's a secret, darling, but i actually have another name not called 'mom'.
do your damn chores, i had a c-section for you.
my son called his dad a motherfucker. i dont know how to feel.
take your ass to bed!
i was waiting for my mom to cook dinner, then i realised i am.
son:
mom was easy. dad was hard.
my mom called me a 'son of a bitch.' im not sure how to feel.
lebron:
6'9 269lbs 26.9 6.9 6.9
chinese zodiac:
2018 the Year of the Dog. Fellow dogs unite! (if you are born in '06, '94, '82, '70, '58...)
TFW When own a dog and this is your spiritual year (if you are born in '06, '94, '82, '70, '58...).
mj:
1-9
glorified monta ellis.
this bald man is not my goat.
MiCoon Jordan
dbz:
is it slavery if you get what you want?
do you know how powerful is the lack of eyebrows?
Liberal women
You have destroyed everything: Compliments Chivalry Courtesy Alpha men & REAL sexual harassment for REAL women who REALLY suffer it
inappropriate:
universal midget line ----------
student + dying = studying
My teacher is my late night teaser
more ambitchous than your average bitch
I love pom! (you sleazy pervert)
if you are reading this can you give me your seat?
the fart is growling wild inside of me
this is also the shirt for the angel inside
this is where i hide my six pack
two less fish in the sea
two less miserable fucks N$F date
proud to be single
proud to be married to independence
proud to be married to freedom
proud to be married to mental sanity
one penis for eternity
one pussy for eternity
proud to be married to my strong right hand
do not arm wrestle with a man who's single
do not arm wrestle with an old virgin
hand tighter than grill
hand tighter than girl
our marriage is fraught with fighting on the bed
thanks to porn im ambidextrous
thanks to the internet im ambidextrous
without the internet, i wouldnt be ambidextrous
hey shirt, you like my sweat?
hey shirt, you like my sweaty armpit?
hey shirt, a weirdo is staring at you
hey shirt, we have a weird in front of us
bet you wanna turn into this shirt
bet you wanna be this shirt
bet you wanna caress my skin like this shirt does
Too cool for school
STRAIGHT outta my marriage
STRAIGHT outta marital court
STRAIGHT outta sync
FUCK the pool lease
FUCK the beauty women
STRAIGHT outta the womb
STRAIGHT outta cold shower
lowkey strong AF
lowkey keeping a low profile unassumingly
lowkey the smartest guy in the room
lowkey the GOAT
walking encyclopedia of porn subgenres
walking dictionary of your mom's least favorite words
walking dictionary of java/c++...
walking dictionary of girls i didnt get
walking dictionary of hentai subgenres
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